Be Sure to Tip Your Waiter (For He's On His Last Dime)
by Mrs.PercyJackson3
Summary: Being a demigod doesn't pay too well (or, you know, at all) so Percy gets a job at a local restaurant. When girls ask him to switch tables with them to escape getting hit on by creepy guys, he always agrees. He's in for a bit of a surprise one night when he recognizes one of the creepy guys.
1. Part One

~ * And Be Sure To Tip Your Waiter (For He's On His Last Dime ) * ~

* * *

Montauk was quiet, the waves gently lapped against the dark sand as a lone figure walked across the shore. Winter was rapidly approaching, Persephone already having returned to her husband below, taking the warmth with her. The ocean rolled soothingly in the early darkness, lovingly swelling up across the sand to whirl around the ankles of the lone beachgoer. It was a man in the prime of life, well built with dark black hair that tousled in the chilly breeze. He wore only sandals, but the frigid water didn't seem to bother him. He was dressed simply, like a fisherman on leave from the sea. A fishing hat sat atop his head and a pair of striking green eyes gazed out of his tan face.

Poseidon, lord of the sea, was feeling oddly sanguine tonight. Another war had come and gone, mortals and immortals alike were finally settling back down into their lives after the turmoil of the last few years. Irrelevant, really, Poseidon had lived through countless wars and would weather many more to come. But, in this moment, the peace was relevant: Percy Jackson was safe.

Poseidon could feel his beloved mortal son, a constant pressure in the back of his mind. Percy was safe, although if he concentrated hard enough on that bright spot at the edge of his consciousness he could feel Percy's irritation at whatever plagued him tonight. Not life-threatening. Not even mythical in nature. An irritation at a very simple, normal mortal problem and underlying that irritation Poseidon could feel his son's relief at the return of such normalcy. Poseidon couldn't begrudge him for that. After all he had been through, Percy deserved a break from his father's world. All Poseidon wanted to do was visit his child, but he dared not. Not tonight. Zeus still kept a sharp eye on the other gods, paranoid and distrustful enough to ruin everybody's chance at reconciliation with their children. Some things never changed.

"Uncle P!"

Poseidon's eyes snapped open, his trident materializing in his hand in an instant and its deadly three-pronged tip coming to rest at the base of the throat that called out to him. Apollo grinned at the other end of his trident, teeth gleaming even in the darkness.

"Apollo," he greeted stiffly, withdrawing his weapon but keeping his tight grip on it as he eyed his exuberant nephew warily.

Change occurred very rapidly in this new age; humans made leaps and bounds in the way of technology, medicine, and even social change in a very short time. The gods changed with the times, but they all struggled to cope with the overwhelming fluctuations that occurred over the last few centuries. Apollo was the best at adapting. Thus the casual "Uncle P" seemed to be a permanent fixture in his vocabulary. Poseidon still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that. Apollo stared out at the ocean, as if appreciating its beauty but Poseidon was not fooled; the ocean was an indicator of his mood and his nephew was simply judging how irritated the sea god was with his presence. The water was still relatively calm. Apollo turned to him with a thousand watt grin.

"So, I was thinking – "

"This can't be good," Poseidon sighed.

Apollo pouted, as if he were an insolent child and not an all-powerful and immortal god. Some things truly never did change. But Poseidon was curious and he waved the sun god on with a tip of his trident.

"I was thinking," Apollo eagerly rejoined, falling into step next to Poseidon as they strode along the beach. "There's this little restaurant just down the road here. You can still hear the ocean, it's so close. Whaddya say?"

"What are you up to?" Poseidon asked, but his mood was too fair for him to be anything more than amused. Apollo wanted something from him, that much he was certain. If he thought some well themed mortal restaurant would sway the Stormbringer in his favor, he was sorely mistaken…but Poseidon would let him believe otherwise. It was more entertaining that way.

"Lead the way," he decreed with a wave of his trident.

"Perfect," Apollo grinned.

A moment later they were outside a small but busy restaurant. Poseidon raised an eyebrow at the gaudy décor, the atmosphere a strange mixture of Hollywood and oceanic paraphernalia. Before them hung a picture of some mortal actor, the frame of his poorly lit picture composed entirely of seashells. Poseidon raised an eyebrow at his nephew, who simply grinned back.

"It's one of my favorite places, although I haven't been here in a while. The ah," Apollo trailed off, his eyes fixed on the swaying backside of a waitress.

"The food is to your liking?" Poseidon asked, chuckling as Apollo snapped his completely unrepentant gaze back to him.

"Something like that," Apollo winked. A pretty, dark haired waitress, much too young for Poseidon's taste but Apollo's eyes lit up, seated them.

"What can I get you guys to start with?" The waitress asked, her smile half-hearted and forced.

"How about a name sweetheart?" Apollo asked flashing the girl a near blinding smile.

Poseidon saw the girl stiffen as he flicked through the stained menu before him. Well, this should be entertaining at least.

"Natasha," the girl replied coolly, tapping a finger against her nametag. "Now, what can I get you to _drink?"_

"Is there anything as sweet as you?" Apollo flirting, leaning forward.

"Just a water," Poseidon said, taking pity on the poor girl. She stood stiffly, eyeing Apollo distastefully.

"Your best wine then," Apollo said, undaunted as he peered up at the girl from behind his thick eyelashes. His face grew younger, a roundness settling across his cheeks until he appeared around the age of their young waitress. His transformation went unnoticed, safely protected by the Mist, as Poseidon sighed.

"Perhaps you could bring back two glasses and you could take a break with – "

"Wine, got it," Natasha cut him off, pen held tightly between her fingers and tapping angrily against her chest.

The motion drew Apollo's gaze and he unabashedly watched, leaning forward as his eyes lingered on the top two unclipped buttons of the girl's uniform before drifting lower. Poseidon half expected – and half hoped – the girl was going to rake her perfectly manicured red nails across Apollo's face. She did not, much to his disappointment. Her face flushed dark with anger and her jaw twitched.

"Coming right up," she twisted around and stormed away from the table before Apollo could say anything else.

"Subtle," Poseidon said, "I can see why your lovers view you so amiably."

"The smile normally works," Apollo pouted. He started to continue, probably to prattle on about his romantic prowess, so Poseidon neatly cut him off.

"Apollo, why are we at a moral restaurant?" He asked in a falsely pleasant tone. A fleeting look of panic crossed Apollo's face but Poseidon cheerfully continued, "The oceanic atmosphere clearly is meant to appeal to me. But it's the mortals that interest me. Did you bring me here as insurance in case I lost my temper?"

Apollo licked his lips but grinned, a shrewd and calculated thing. "Zeus will go ballistic if you cause an earthquake in Manhattan."

"Indeed," Poseidon agreed amiably. "But of course, with three-fourths of the world at my fingertips I don't see why one little island should be of such importance to me." Then, casually, turning the page in his menu, he asked, "Tell me, nephew, how well does your oracle swim?"

The mirth vanished from Apollo's face and a cold mask took its place. "You wouldn't dare." Apollos's eyes flashed as he snarled, "she is the oracle and Percy's friend."

"Wouldn't I?" Poseidon smiled baselessly.

Of course, Poseidon would never hurt the Dare girl. As the oracle, she enjoyed certain protection and even Zeus would protest harm against her. But, more importantly, Apollo was right: she was Percy's friend. Her place in his son's heart cemented her safety from Poseidon's ire.

Poseidon watched, not even bothering to conceal his amusement as rage boiled in Apollo's eyes. The sun god took several measured breaths. It was obvious to the sea god that his nephew needed something from him – a favor given his wariness of Poseidon's temper. He clearly had waited for Poseidon to be in a good mood before pouncing on him. Despite his misgiving, however, Poseidon's curiosity was peaked; but favors were not to be taken lightly especially when they came from one of the Big Three. Apollo would have to work for Poseidon's cooperation. This realization seemed to dawn on Apollo was well. His fingers twitched and he leaned forward, visibly trying to control himself. His carefully constructed, carefree mask slipped and Poseidon idly watched as he tried to fix it.

"Uncle P – " he started again in an attempt to return to his carefree attitude.

Before he could finish, two glasses of water were slammed down before them with such force that the crystal liquid inside slouched over the precariously filled tops and spilled onto their table. The waiter – for it was a waiter and not the pretty little waitress Apollo flirted with earlier – didn't even bother to clean it up. He turned to face the pair, having previously been conversing with someone over his shoulder as he slammed the glasses down.

Poseidon's surprise was too great for him to do more than blink at the all too familiar face before him. In fact, only one thought permeated his surprise: the waiter's smile was almost frightening, if it could even be called a smile. Both sides of his lips were pulled up, showing every single one of his teeth, barred in an almost predatory fashion: a shark's smile. Apollo's eyes flashed at the waiter's impertinence, his face twisting and ready to unleash his unbridled fury upon the boy.

Poseidon could pinpoint the exact second Apollo realized who their waiter was – his eyes widened and mouth fell open in an almost comical display. Which, honestly, wasn't far from their waiter's response when _he_ realized who sat before him.

Percy Jackson, twice savior of Olympus and demigod son of Poseidon, blinked at Apollo and Apollo blinked back at him. Percy's wide eyes panned out slowly, cautiously, until they met their mirror image in his father's face. The three stared at each other, each very much caught off guard. Poseidon recovered enough to berate himself – he was so caught up in Apollo's nonsense that he missed the presence of _his own son._

"Percy."

"Dad."

That single word spoke volumes; incredulity, disbelief, awe, and surprise all colored his son's tone as his face contorted to reflect each emotion. His eyes only briefly flickered over to Apollo, who gaped at Percy in something akin to horror, before returning to his father. He held a pen loosely in one hand and a pad of paper flopped in the other. He twirled the pen, his fingers worrying on the cap in a motion that Poseidon hazarded was an unconscious response to stressful situations.

"What - ?"

The sheer confusion on Percy's face might have been amusing at any other time. But now, Poseidon simply relished his son's presence.

"Apollo's trying to weasel some sort of favor out of me," he pleasantly told his son.

"You would work at the one restaurant I chose," Apollo bemoaned, tugging on his hair in agitation. "And where is our waitress? None of this would've happened if she just kept our table."

Poseidon thought that was a rather ridiculous statement. He may have been distracted by Apollo's nonsense, but there was no way he would have gone the entire night without noticing Percy. Nor undoubtedly, the demigod them. The statement seemed to startle Percy out of his dazed state, however.

He glared at Apollo, his lips pressed tight and face darkening, "She asked me to take it because some creep was making her feel uncomfortable."

Apollo sputtered as Poseidon chuckled. "Some creep? Hey now – how do you know it wasn't your dad?"

Poseidon sent Apollo a withering look to which the sun god sputtered back, "Don't give me that look! Like it's out of the realm of possibility; what about Medusa? Or Caeneus, or – "

"You look well son," Poseidon said, sharply cutting Apollo off as Percy's brow furrowed. He didn't want Percy to dwell on the sun god's words.

His words were not untrue however (Poseidon's, not Apollo's… although the latter's weren't untrue either); Percy _did_ look better. He was still too thin; his cheeks hollow but no longer gaunt. His eyes didn't shine as brightly as they had before Tartarus and dark circles still surrounded them. But, when he first arrived at their table, outraged on the behalf of his friend, fire burned fiercely in them. Even now they held some of that flame. Poseidon only hoped time would restore his precious child to his previous health and spirit; a hope spurned on by Percy's appearance today.

He didn't look well, not by a long shot, but he looked better.

A ghost of a smile tilted on Percy's lips, "Thanks, Dad."

"I ordered wine," Apollo complained, ruining the moment as he reached out to shake the glass of water Percy forcibly slammed down earlier. Poseidon glowered over at him, but the sun god was too busy pouting to notice.

"Yeah, but you were being a jerk to Nat so I was going to make you ask again," Percy said with a shrug of his shoulders. Poseidon chuckled at his honesty as Apollo drew himself up, offended.

"Jackson! Quit gossiping and get back to work, you have other tables."

Percy waved his notepad over his shoulder, not even turning around to address the angry, stout man that reprimanded him from across the room. The man bristled, pulling himself up to his rather unimpressive height, and started to storm over to their table but was intercepted by a waitress who stole his attention.

"Well, we don't want to get you fired," Apollo said, looking delighted at the interruption.

"I get fired at least once a week," Percy was unconcerned. "They always rehire me. Not that I'm not glad to see you, but ah, are you even allowed to be here?"

"We didn't know you were here," Poseidon said, delighted. "It was a happy accident."

"Zeus will flip if he finds out," Apollo hedged, desperately trying to reclaim Poseidon's attention. "We should probably leave."

"I haven't ordered yet," Poseidon objected mildly.

The surrealism of the situation was not lost on him. Nor Percy, if the way he was fighting back a grin was any indicator. Gods didn't exactly go out to eat or spend much time in the mortals' domain; Apollo's little adventures and flirtatious escapades being the special cases. Zeus undoubtedly would throw a tantrum if he found out, but the grin that finally found its way onto Percy's face was worth it.

Besides, Poseidon could always blame it on Apollo.

"Alright," Apollo groaned. Slumping low in his seat he darkly asked, "So, what do you recommend then Percy?"

Percy blinked. "The water's probably safe."

"For _food_ Perseus," Apollo growled but the malice in his voice evaporated as Poseidon's hard gaze fell upon him; _upset my child and not only will your favor not be granted but you shall suffer my unencumbered wrath._ Apollo cleared his throat awkwardly before giving Percy a pleasant, and slightly nervous, smile.

"Nothing, it all sucks." Percy grinned somewhat apologetically at his father, "you really picked an awful place."

"Hey Perce," a girl slid behind Percy, eyeing Apollo distrustfully as she said, "Desiree wants to know if you'll switch tables with her. Says the guy keeps trying to look down her shirt."

"Of course, what table?" Percy asked, glancing at the girl as his smile slipped away and was replaced with a frown.

"Yellow shirt with the Yankee hat," the girl jerked her head towards the table and Percy nodded as he found them.

"Got it, tell her to take table twenty for me then? Diet coke and a lemonade."

"Got it, thanks love," the girl pressed a kiss to Percy's cheek and disappeared.

"Oh, so _that's_ why you do it," Apollo realized, watching the girl's backside as she slipped away.

"Leave her alone," Percy snapped, irritated. "And what are you talking about?"

" _Jackson!"_

The stout man was back, having freed himself from the waitress and started stalking towards their table.

Percy pressed his lips together and eyed his boss warily.

"Go ahead," Poseidon gently told him. "I shall still be here when you return. Tend to your duties and I shall await your return."

Percy smiled, his shoulders falling as he visibly relaxed. Poseidon was deeply pleased with his hesitance to leave and his obvious desire to remain in his father's presence.

"I'll be back," he promised.

"I shall wait," Poseidon assured him once more.

He watched as Percy left, turning to attend to the table with the man in the yellow shirt and Yankee hat, giving his boss a wide not-so-innocent smile as he brushed passed the man.

"No seriously Poseidon, Zeus will not like this," Apollo leaned forward to gravely meet his uncle's eyes as soon as Percy was out of earshot.

"Such a shame you brought me here isn't it?" Poseidon asked mildly.

Apollo's face paled and his fingers trembled with rage.

"Relax," Poseidon instructed. "Zeus need not know. Here, how about this: if you allow me this short, precious time with my son then I will grant your favor."

Apollo's eyebrows skyrocketed. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"You don't even want to know what it is?"

"I am only mildly concerned. You don't often come to me and it is sure to anger Zeus, so yes."

Apollo leaned against his chair, relief spreading over his face. "Bless that boy I love him, I take back the bodily harm I wished upon him."

"What."

Outside the window beside them, the ocean crashed violently against the shore.

"Not like _grievous_ bodily harm! Just like, a sprained ankle or – or a minor concussion. Just enough so I could finish our conversation! I would never want to hurt your boy – I love that kid, I would let him take my sun chariot for a joyride! I would – I'm going to shut up now."

"That would be wise," Poseidon agreed, watching his nephew through narrowed eyes. "If anything befalls my son Apollo – "

"I would _never_ – "

"Rest assured, I'll make Zeus' wrath look like Elysium."

Apollo leaned back in his chair, sulking. Poseidon flicked through his menu, satisfied. He listened carefully for the sound of Percy's voice, catching the low tenor of his son from across the room and contented himself listening to his steady hum;

"Hey, I ordered a beer what's this shit?"

"Did you? My bad," Percy's unconcerned voice brought a smile to his father's face. "Can I see some ID?"

"ID?!"

"Identification. Should be a little plastic card with a little grainy picture of your face on it. Usually kept in a wallet or purse or whatever. I don't judge."

"You know what kid I've had enough of – "

"No beer then, got it. Can I take your order or are you still looking?"

" _Now wait just a minute you little –_ "

"You need another minute, got it. I'll be back later."

Poseidon chuckled and across from him, he could see Apollo fighting a smile as well.

"He's such a little shit," Apollo said, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "It's a comfort to know the mortals can't handle him either."

"The sea cannot be contained," Poseidon proudly declared as Percy slipped through the restaurant, navigating the plane of chairs and people like a stream unerringly trickling through a dense forest, untamable, uninhibited.

He paused at the entrance to the kitchen when a girl waved him over, leaning over so his ear was level with the pretty waitress' mouth. The girl smiled, her hand resting on his hip in a display of affection that, even to the gods' eyes, was oddly platonic and friendly in nature. Percy nodded and this girl too pressed a kiss to his son's cheek before he vanished into the kitchen.

"I don't understand," Apollo said, his brow furrowed as he took a sip of his water.

He made a face, as if he forgot Percy gave them water instead of wine. "The girls love him. He could safely mess around and flirt with any of them and they would gladly let him. That daughter of Athena wouldn't even know. Yet he doesn't. I mean, what's he get out of it? He sure isn't getting any tips."

Poseidon watched waiters and waitresses bustled in and out of the kitchen, catching sight of their first waitress who looked all too happy to wait on a group of women giggling in the corner. He took a sip of water, contemplating.

"It is not in his nature," Poseidon finally rumbled. "He is not like us. He is better. He loves and cares deeply, with the simplicity of a child, yet the fierceness and heart of a true hero."

Poseidon took another sip of water. "Besides, he wouldn't notice if any of them flirted with him anyway."

Apollo gave a snort at that, grinning into his water. Poseidon felt Percy emerge from the kitchen and raised his eyes to meet his as Percy placed a wine glass before Apollo.

"Thank Dionysus." Apollo's eyes lit up as he reached for the glass.

"I mean, don't go thanking anybody yet. It's basically red water."

Apollo made a face as he took a sip. Percy gave an apologetic shrug. A shout drew his attention and his eyes flickered over to the corner where the guy in the yellow shirt and Yankee's hat was angrily complaining to the pained looking manager. The manager glared at Percy who promptly turned his attention unrepentantly back to his father.

"I hate to break it to you kid, but I don't think you'll be getting a tip from him," Apollo clicked his tongue as he took another sip of his not-wine.

Percy shrugged, looking resigned, "I never do."

He glanced at the menu before his father curiously, "Do you guys actually eat mortal food?"

"Not if we can help it," Apollo admitted. "But sometimes it's unavoidable, like when I was wooing this girl once. She was really into – "

"We prefer not to. It just doesn't taste as good," Poseidon said, raising his voice ever so slightly to be heard over the sun god, handing his menu to Percy. "Except for the work of a few exemplary mortal chefs. Just bring out whatever you think best – it's for appearances more than anything."

"Because apparently we're staying," Apollo muttered as he handed Percy his menu, looking resigned. "Just choose something with an inoffensive smell please, I don't know why you mortals must create such pungent smelling dishes – "

Percy let Apollo ramble, smiling faintly as he took the menus.

" – and for Dionysus' sake bring me something else," Apollo pushed his wine glass forward. "Preferably with real alcohol."

"I'll try," Percy said indulgently.

"Percy," Poseidon started, commanding his son's complete attention. Percy paused, his head tilted curiously.

Percy was paler than Poseidon would have liked and he had to clench his hands into fists to resist the urge to reach out and lay a hand on his son's shoulder.

"I would ask you join us," he told Percy, steadily holding the demigod's gaze. "I would, gladly. But it would not be wise."

He could go into the reasons why it wouldn't be wise; that Zeus would be furious enough to learn that Poseidon and Percy were in the same space as each other, that he did not leave when he first noticed his son's presence, that he lingered and engaged… The words wouldn't come, however, but instead left him staring regretfully at his child, who had sacrificed so much, who deserved so much more than he received.

Percy nodded, that faint smile still in place on his face. He didn't look upset. "I know," he said simply. Then, nonsensically, "Thank you."

"Excuse us, sirs," the stout manager interrupted, taking Percy by the arm. "I need to borrow him for a moment, your food should be out shortly."

"They want something inoffensive, do we even have a dish like that?" Percy asked loudly as the manager ushered him away.

"The water probably," a passing waitress smirked and the two of them shared a laugh as the manager bristled, grumbling as he pulled Percy inside the kitchen.

"You realize you're just getting us into deeper trouble," Apollo pointed out.

"Only if Zeus notices," Poseidon calmly replied. "Now, tell me about this favor I owe."

Percy brought their food shortly thereafter, shrugging when they asked what his manager wanted.

"Threatened to fire me again," Percy said, unconcerned.

The food was offensive, but it wasn't like they were actually eating it. It steadily disappeared throughout the night – Percy didn't ask and they didn't explain – as he kept checking in on their table. It wasn't much in the term of quality time, Poseidon only stole a couple minutes of his son's time here and there, but it was more than he ever had before. He would take it.

"Poseidon," Apollo warned as the night grew deeper and the restaurant quieter. "We should leave."

"Probably," Poseidon agreed, watching his son clear off a table, almost dropping a plate and crouching low to catch it.

"You managed to steal several hours," Apollo said, his voice as low as the dim lights that swung above their heads. "It is more than most of us get."

"I know."

"Saying goodbye will only make it harder to leave," Apollo warned, standing up. The youth faded from his vintage as he stood, his features sharpening until he appeared the same as when he walked up to Poseidon on the beach.

"It always does," Poseidon agreed softly. Across the room, Percy's head turned, as if catching his father's words.

When Percy returned the table a few minutes later, it was empty. He squashed the part of him that was disappointed, knowing that it wasn't fair to be angry or upset as he sighed and collected the empty dishes. As he picked up the last plate, he gaped at the table in surprise. Laying neatly under his father's plate, three crisp bills waited, the number along their green edges in the triple digits, Benjamin Franklin winking up at him. Next to the mortal money, three gleaming drachmas waited.

But when disbelieving fingers reached out, they didn't go to the mortal dollars or the golden coins, but rather folded around the third currency that sat beside them. Percy picked up the worn sand dollar, turning it gently over in his hand as a smile found its way onto his face.

"Thanks, Dad," he whispered into the night, slipping the sand dollar into his pocket for safe keeping as he collected the rest of the money. Then, as an afterthought while he returned the dishes to the kitchen he added, "and thanks to you too Apollo."

* * *

 **A/n This started out as a silly little idea I had that was supposed to be funny. Where did all the seriousness and heavy stuff come from? I don't know, it just happened. I don't even think I could label this as 'humor' as I originally intended.** **Percy seems like the kind of guy who would totally do something like this, and become progressively more protective and aggressive as he befriended the girls.** **That favor Apollo wants has something to do with whatever he did to anger Zeus enough to turn him into a mortal (vague 'Trials of Apollo' reference is what I'm saying...and Poseidon is not going to be much help, sorry Apollo).**

 **This is, in fact, going to be a two-shot, but I'm not entirely sure when part two is coming out. Please tell me what you thought and I hope you enjoyed ~ ***


	2. Part Two

~ * And Be Sure to Tip Your Waiter (For He's on His Last Dime) ~ *

* * *

Amphitrite was not a fool, no matter what her sisters or anybody else might think. Marrying Poseidon was at once the best and worst decision of her long immortal life. It was the source of a near constant grief, and no small amount of anger and heartbreak, but the goddess could never find it in her heart to regret her marriage. She loved her husband, for better or for worse, even if it seemed to overwhelmingly consist of the later.

Sally Jackson was not the first woman her husband had left their marriage bed for, not by any stretch of the imagination; Amphitrite couldn't even find it within herself to be surprised. She knew it would happen, sooner or later, great oath or no great oath. It was in Poseidon's nature, as it was his brothers' as well. To change it would be to change the sea—and the sea did not like to be restrained, so Poseidon loved to say. He wouldn't be the god she loved were he to change, and as much as each betrayal hurt, as deep as the wound in her heart may go, she wouldn't trade him for the world.

That didn't mean she had to like his lovers or his deceitful ways, nor was she obligated to sit back and allow him to do whatever he so pleased behind her back.

No, Amphitrite was no fool and she would not be played for one. Not even by the lord of the sea himself.

She wasn't surprised when Poseidon started disappearing late at night without a word. He never announced where he was going, only disappeared for a couple mortal hours to reappear with a pleased and content smile on his face.

Amphitrite was not pleased.

She could look the other way once, twice even, but when it became a habit she took issue. Poseidon could sleep around all he liked as long as his heart belonged to her, and Amphitrite would vaporize anyone who dared threaten that. His disappearances, not like clockwork but frequent enough to cause concern, greatly displeased her.

So when her husband disappeared one night, Amphitrite waited...and then followed. He was hard to find at first. Poseidon hadn't existed so long without being able to avoid detection. But Amphitrite knew his tricks, some of which she taught him herself, and she soon found him.

She raised an eyebrow when she found herself outside a dirty, dingy restaurant on the edge of Manhattan.

"Table for one ma'am?" The hostess asked when she gingerly stepped inside.

The hostess waited with the pleasant but forced smile all service employees wore while Amphitrite stared about the place. It was horrifying, to put it mildly. The restaurant was just as grungy on the inside, tacky posters and decoration spewed across the place in a half-hazardous way, as though placed by children. The low lights that flickered above her head cast a sickly yellow haze that lazily drifted through the air, heavy and thick. The stench of food was enough to make her consider leaving Poseidon to whatever torture he designed for himself and wipe her hands of the entire affair.

But her husband's content smile flashed in her mind and Amphitrite found herself smiling wanly at the young hostess and confirming that yes, her party consisted only of one. Walking passed a gaudy picture of a bygone actor, his image surrounded by cheap replica seashells, paint faded and chipped, the hostess brought her into the dining area. Amphitrite's eyes swept across the crowd and under her gentle urging the mortal sat her in a far corner, tucked away in the dark. She kept a tight hold on her form, letting not even an ounce of her power leak into the air and worn the sea lord of her presence.

His control was almost as good as hers, but a wife knows how to find a guilty husband. Near the swinging kitchen doors, Amphitrite found her quarry. Poseidon sat alone in a faded red booth, a menu spread before him that his beautiful sea green eyes uninterestedly gazed over. Amphitrite frowned at his solitary figure, perplexed.

"Good evening, my name is Shawntae and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I start you off with?"

The falsely bright voice was close enough that Amphitrite looked up, thinking for a moment the mortal spoke to her. Instead, the beautiful dark girl was forcing a smile at the pair of men sitting at the table behind hers.

"Sweetheart, you can take care of me any night," one of the men whistled, nudging his friend who gave a disgusting, throaty laugh.

Amphitrite and the young mortal girl both stiffened. _Men,_ Amphitrite thought in disgust. It was moments like this when she thought that maybe Artemis was onto something.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Shawntae asked, her smile vanishing.

The men gawked and snickered but managed to order drinks after a few more lewd lines. Amphitrite gripped her menu hard enough to bend it, watching the pigs snicker at each other as the unfortunate mortal girl disappeared. Her eyes flickered over to Poseidon, who still sat alone. If the girl didn't go to her manager and they tried harassing her again, she would do something about it Amphitrite decided. And if it caused Poseidon to notice her, well then, her darling husband would simply have to talk his way out of this. Perhaps his mistress would face her direct wrath then.

Satisfied with her decision, Amphitrite leaned back in her seat.

"Hello ma'am what can I get you to drink?" A waitress approached Amphitrite, her distracted gaze focused on the men behind the goddess as she frowned. Perhaps this girl would do something about them and Amphitrite wouldn't have to worry about making a scene.

"Water," the goddess said succinctly and the girl nodded absently, her eyes flickering to the kitchen.

Whatever she saw caused her shoulders to fall, her entire being visibly relaxing.

"Of course," the girl said, grinning broadly as she twisted away.

As Amphitrite turned her gaze back to her husband, she found a fresh glass of water had been placed before him and a basket of some sort. Poseidon himself was smiling, a small pleased thing. The queen's temper boiled beneath her skin. A waitress! He had to be seducing a waitress.

Even as the revelation occurred to her, part of Amphitrite rejected it. The gods would go to great lengths to seduce an unfortunate bedmate (she of all people knew that) but Poseidon was hardly the type to degrade himself to such low means for a partner. He was a more extravagate wooer, full of grandiose gestures. Fear gnawed in Amphitrite's stomach, a sick little spot of pain that began to worm its way into her heart. But no, sure if he were falling in _love_ love, she would have noticed before. She would be able to stop it. Poseidon loved her, his queen, more.

Amphitrite was so focused on the sea god, her inner turmoil threatening to betray her presences, that the sound of the men behind her seemed startling loud;

"The hell? No, the little hottie was our waitress."

" _Shawntae_ is unavailable sorry, but I have it on good authority that I'm quite the hottie myself."

The pigs blistered in outrage and Amphitrite's lips curled in amusement as she half turned to glance at the new waiter. At the all too familiar flash of green that greeted her, she froze, surprise and horror filling her before she realized the being standing before the lecherous men couldn't be Poseidon. No, instead she found her wide eyes taking in the sight of Perseus Jackson, the product of the very infidelity she feared. The demigod's lips were pulled up in the guise of a smile but his teeth were bared and the expression was far from friendly.

"You, you," one of the mortals was blustering, "that's _sick,_ you're not—"

"Not your type? Yeah, I've heard that before. Still not entirely sure I buy it but," Perseus cocked his head, his predatory smile sharpening, "from you I believe it. You prefer someone smaller and weaker than you, don't you? Someone you think can intimate and frighten."

Perseus' eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth twitching as he physically restrained himself. He twirled a pen in his hand, his thumb worrying away on the cap. Amphitrite didn't hear the mortals' reply, her world focusing on the son of Poseidon. The tag on Perseus' breast bearing his nickname, a hazardously scrawled, near illegible _Percy,_ and the uniform it was pinned upon betrayed his place; he was a waiter.

Perseus was a waiter.

Poseidon was sitting alone in the corner, seemingly there to interact with a member of the waiting staff.

Perseus was a member of the waiting staff.

Poseidon was happier, contented, sneaking off to see somebody in the mortal world. Amphitrite hadn't realized Poseidon was falling in love not because he _had_ and she missed it, but because he wasn't falling in love at all. He was visiting the offspring of his last affair. Poseidon was dangerously attached to the demigod.

Amphitrite took a deep breath through her mouth before opening her eyes. Perseus was gone and the men behind her were grumbling to themselves, cursing and swearing they were going to complain to the manager. Her eyes fell on her husband and, sure enough, his unnatural offspring stood before him. Poseidon smiled at the demigod, his expression calm and content. Perseus said something and the god of the sea laughed. He was still laughing as the demigod pulled away, disappearing into the kitchen.

How long had it been since she saw Poseidon laugh? Amphitrite couldn't remember. Before the Second Titan War. Probably even longer.

Suddenly, Poseidon's eyes snapped up, his mirth evaporating. The room grew colder, Amphitrite could feel the ocean stirring as Poseidon's guard rose and her husband's eyes met her own.

Styx.

It was too late, he knew she was there. Poseidon's face was a mask, Amphitrite affectionately liked to call it his solstice face as it usually only appeared when he left their undersea palace for Olympus. The sound of the world faded as their eyes held. Even though his face was expressionless, Poseidon's eyes never were. Storms raged in those great green pools, focused and…frightened.

Knowing she was caught, Amphitrite decided to face the problem directly. She folded the faded menu delicately in her hands, laying it next to her water. She stood, slowly and purposefully, before walking across the restaurant. Even though she was on land, she could feel the infuriated roll of the ocean inside her very being but she held her head high and steadily met Poseidon's eyes.

She gracefully pulled out the chair across from her husband and elegantly situated herself at the table. She folded her hands before her and gave Poseidon a thin, unamused smile.

"You followed me." Poseidon's voice was flat and disapproving, fury lingering in the aftermath of his words.

Amphitrite raised an eyebrow, her smile turning bitter. "It wasn't hard. You've grown careless my lord."

Somewhere in the east, a hurricane was brewing but Amphitrite continued to smile serenely at her husband. Perseus' voice came from the kitchen and as one the immortals turned, catching sight of the demigod near the entrance. The mortals would be baffled by the level three hurricane that just became a five. Amphitrite couldn't care less.

"You will not touch him Amphitrite," Poseidon declared, his low tenor rumbling and dangerous.

"You overstep yourself, my lord," Amphitrite replied. "After all these years you of all people should know my temper is unlike that of Hera's."

Amphitrite's jealousy was as unlike her sister-in-law's as the sea was from the sky. Children were blameless of their father's sins; she never harmed a child of Poseidon's for being born out of his marriage bed. She had killed some for their arrogance and insolence, but not out of retribution for their very existence. That didn't mean she liked them nor would she tolerate Poseidon's obsession with this one.

"Tell me, my husband, does Zeus know of your escapades?" Amphitrite idly wondered if California could afford the earthquake that rattled their land as Poseidon's temper flared. She smiled fully, her own cold fury burning in her eyes.

"Oh, are you switching tables?" It was Amphitrite's waitress from earlier that spoke, standing at the edge of their table, blissfully unaware of the dangerous standoff she was interrupting.

"Yes my dear," Amphitrite said with false sweetness, turning slightly to nod at the girl.

The waitress smiled in return, eyeing Poseidon with mild distrust as if picking up on Amphitrite's ire. Amphitrite's smile turn genuine as she fondly surveyed the mortal girl. The waitress met her eyes and they shared a sort of kindred bond in that moment, the kind only women of any form of existence could have.

"Okay," the waitress said, giving Poseidon one more suspicious look before leaving.

"You will not take him from me," Poseidon warned in the wake of her absence. Despite his strong conviction, there was fear beneath the god's words. She could try, he knew, and there was the possibly she would succeed if she brought his brothers into it. Amphitrite lifted her chin haughtily, challengingly meeting his gaze.

Poseidon's very being glowed, power and fury rolling from his mortal form.

"I—oh."

Perseus had returned. There was a glass of water balanced in one of his hands and the demigod stood frozen half a length from their table, his mouth slightly open in surprise as he blinked at Amphitrite. She let her eyes rake over his surprised form. Poseidon's hand was gripping the table in his anger and she very purposely reached out and took it, watching the demigod all the while.

Poseidon didn't tolerate the show of possession. He tore his hand away.

"A minute, Percy," he said, eyes flashing.

"Ah, right," Perseus said, still blinking at Amphitrite.

Then he stepped right up and put the glass before Poseidon, deliberately invading their space. Amphitrite was too shunned by his impertinence to do more than stare at him as he moved away.

"Do not," Poseidon warned and the ocean raged with his temper.

"Be careful of your temper my lord," Amphitrite snarled, turning to face her husband. "You would not want Zeus to find you. He will be suspicious enough, you have cause two hurricanes and an earthquake already within the hour."

"Be careful of your jealousy my wife," Poseidon bitingly returned, eyes flashing.

Half glowing, Poseidon's head suddenly turned. To Amphitrite's great surprise, his anger seemed to recede and she turned as well, watching the demigod. He was bent over so a short waitress could whisper into his ear, nodding. Poseidon had a contemplative expression on his face that soon gave way to a sly look as he smiled at his wife. Amphitrite was suspicious at once, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Would you indulge me, my dearest wife, and at least let me get my food?" He asked, his anger replaced with something almost akin to amusement as he took a sip of his water.

"What are you playing at?" She demanded, whipping around to suspiciously eye the twice child of prophecy.

"Did you notice how he took the table of the men behind where you once sat?" Poseidon asked calmly, setting his water down.

"I did." Amphitrite agreed. "What of it?"

"What do you think of it?"

In truth, she had not thought on it. "I see not why—"

"And there he is now, taking another girl's table because she asked," Poseidon remarked and, despite herself, Amphitrite turned. The short waitress was smiling at Perseus in relief, pointing out a table as the demigod nodded.

"I do not understand, what is the point of this?" Amphitrite asked, still frowning as the demigod.

"They make the girls feel uncomfortable so he takes their tables," Poseidon explained, deliberately misinterpreting her question. Amphitrite scowled, perplexed despite herself.

"I see not why it matters," she began haughtily, when her head whipped around, narrowing in on her waitress as the girl made a distressed sound.

The horrid men from before had grabbed her by the arm and the girl tried to pull away, her voice low and furious. She managed to tear her arm away but the guy reached for her again, reaching lower. Amphitrite was half out of her seat, fury and a surge of protectiveness raging in her breast. She hadn't even risen to her full height when the man's arm was suddenly wrenched back and Perseus was slamming the pig's head into the table.

The mortal was yelling, thrashing about but Perseus held him down firmly, his expression an exact mirror of Poseidon's furious one moments ago. He glanced up at the girl, who was shaking her head and crossing her arms. Another girl, Amphitrite recognized her as Shawntae, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the angry girl, shouting at the last man at the table.

Poseidon seemed wholly unconcerned with the ordeal, taking a sip of his water as the manager came rushing forward and another patron stepped in to stop the second lecherous man from standing. Perseus ignored the manager, dragging the man who grabbed the waitress up by his collar and bodily dragging him towards the door.

"Dammit Jackson," the manager was shouting, following them out.

Amphitrite slowly sat back down as the men disappeared out the entrance of the restaurant, the second lecherous man stumbling after them. Poseidon took another sip of water, his face serene.

"She's alright, your waitress," he said calmly.

"Yes," Amphitrite agreed, watching as the girl shook her head in disgust and pulled Shawntae along with her towards the front door. "You knew that was going to happen."

"No, but I thought it might. Percy can take care of himself," Poseidon said, flicking through his menu without a care in the world as shouting came from the front door. He briefly looked up, clicking his tongue. A smirk played the edge of his lips. "You've come on a good night, my dearest wife, I'm sure you'll enjoy the show."

"Cease speaking with your gilded tongue," Amphitrite said in irritation but she had turned towards the door like a moth to the flame. Perseus was standing in the doorway, arms crossed as the manager yelled at him.

"Dammit Jackson, we've talked about this, you can't manhandle the customers no matter how—"

"He _grabbed_ Maria," Perseus angrily snapped back, his eyes flashing.

"There are calmer ways to handle these things—"

" _After_ Shawntae said they were making uncomfortable remarks and you never even walked over—"

"You didn't have to make a scene. For god's sake, Jackson you slammed the man's head against the table and dragged him out of the restaurant! I have no choice but to fire you for this—"

"If you fire Percy, I quit," Maria, Amphitrite's waitress, said angrily.

"Me too," Shawntae furiously backed her up, crossing her arms and glaring at the manager. "Hey Lils, they want to fire Perce!"

A waitress exiting the kitchen froze. "If they fire Percy again I quit too! I refuse to work here without him!"

"Firing Percy for kicking out a perv? I'm done too," a waiter said, putting his armful of dishes down at the nearest table and taking his apron off. "Hey guys, they're firing Percy again." He called into the kitchen, and more angry voices came from there.

"Again?" Amphitrite said.

"You think the manager would learn his lesson by now," Poseidon mused. "The entire waiting staff threatened to quit last time." He peered over at the kitchen. "I do believe this is a repeat performance."

"Okay, okay just calm down," the manager was saying, the perspiration on his neck visible from their table.

Amphitrite reached out and took Poseidon's glass, taking a sip of the slightly metallic water. "He is more concerned about discretion than the harassment of his employees."

"Usually," Poseidon agreed. "I do believe there is nothing more he regrets then hiring Percy."

Poseidon looked quite proud of the fact. Amphitrite took another sip of water. The manager pulled Perseus into his office and a furious Maria and Shawntae insisted on following. They emerged not even five minutes later, a girl on either side of Perseus. Their heads were held high, each having an arm linked through Perseus'. They glared over their shoulder at the manager, who was rubbing his temple.

Serves him right, Amphitrite thought darkly but she was eyeing the son of Poseidon as the girls kissed his cheeks. His face flushed and the girls playfully cooed and giggled before disappearing back into the kitchen. Perseus shook his head, his cheeks still red before his brow furrowed and he turned, undoubtedly feeling her gaze. His eyes flickered between her and Poseidon. Amphitrite raised a hand and beckoned him over.

Poseidon continued to flick through his menu, not looking particularly concerned. "Do not upset my son Amphitrite," he warned idly as Perseus walked over. "Even the threat of my brothers' ire shall not still my own."

Perseus' eyes were wary as he crept over.

"Sit," Amphitrite instructed, motioning.

Perseus blinked at her, eyes flicking to Poseidon, who gave a slight nod. The demigod grabbed a chair from the empty table behind him and pulled it up, sitting awkwardly on the edge of it.

"Do you know who I am?" Amphitrite demanded.

"Yeah," Perseus said, brow furrowed. At her impatient look, he realized she was waiting for a name and hastily added, "Amphitrite."

 _My lady Amphitrite_ she wanted to correct immediately; Poseidon had grown very soft indeed to allow a mortal to get away with addressing him so casually. Of course, she thought sourly, even Zeus tolerated Perseus' impertinence to a degree. She let it go for now.

"Why did you take Shawntae's table?"

Perseus looked confused, sitting back a little and studying her face as if she were the sphinx giving out riddles, "Because she asked me too?"

"In return for what?" Amphitrite pressed.

"My table?" Perseus said slowly, obviously lost. His eyes flickered to Poseidon who was chuckling under his breath.

"Even after all you've done she has trouble believing in your selfless, protective nature," Poseidon said reassuringly, reaching out to clap Perseus on the shoulder. Perseus looked even more confused.

"I just switched tables."

"You switched a tipping table for someone you threw out before they paid," Poseidon said with a smile.

"Quiet Poseidon," Amphitrite said, kicking her husband beneath the table. With a twinkle in his eye, Poseidon sat back, reaching for his glass of water.

Perseus looked even more confused. His dark eyebrows drew together, his forehead wrinkling and nose scrunching up. Sea green eyes flickered between the gods, the bewildered emotion swirling around in their beautiful depths one she had never seen in his father's eyes. The expression was… almost adorable. In a tragic, lost baby animal sort of way.

"You're protecting them," she said, eyes trailing over to the small gathering of waitresses, who were whispering among themselves and shooting the manager dirty looks. "Simply to protect them."

"Yes?" Perseus said slowly, "why else would I?"

Amphitrite stared at him and the son of Poseidon blinked back.

"He's serious," she said incredulously to Poseidon.

"Completely," Poseidon agreed serenely, smirking.

"To take advantage of them, Perseus," she pressed, not quite buying it.

"How is taking a non-tipping table taking advantage of them?" Perseus asked, perplexed, and Amphitrite stared.

"Are you entirely certain he's your son?" She asked Poseidon in disbelief. Both Perseus and Poseidon looked offended by this, although the former's was tainted by confusion and the later's by irritation.

"I am glad the waitress girl is unhurt," she said before either of them could express their displeasure. "When she comes forth next I shall give her my blessing so this does not happen again."

"No," Poseidon said, frowning immediately.

"Really?" Perseus asked at the same time, his face lighting up, "you can do that? So she'll always be protected?"

"No," Poseidon repeated firmly, frowning at Percy now.

"Yes," Amphitrite said, ignoring her husband. "We bestow fewer blessings on mortals nowadays, but I shall make an exception. She will always be under my protection."

"It would draw attention to the restaurant," Poseidon said, clenching his jaw and glaring at Amphitrite.

"Oh," Perseus stared at Poseidon, his face falling. Amphitrite didn't know if it was the new angle this view provided or her renewed scrutiny, but the lines on his face seemed more pronoun, the shadows under his eyes particularly dark. His shoulders slumped and he gave a sigh. "But Maria could safely walk home at night?"

Amphitrite stared at him. He wasn't arguing with her, getting angry like Poseidon would (was). This child was willing to risk losing time with his father, the all-powerful god of the sea, just in exchange for some mortal girl's safety.

"Yes," Amphitrite repeated.

Neither male paid her much mind. Percy offered his father a weak smile, the corners of his mouth twitching the slightly bit but doing nothing to dispel the misery that set across it. Poseidon's hand twitched as if restraining himself from reaching out and comforting his son.

"I could always bless her after she leaves the restaurant," Amphitrite found herself saying.

Perseus' head snapped around, his eyes lighting up, "Really?"

Like a baby dolphin, Amphitrite thought exasperatedly, trying to harden her resolve against this strangely innocent imitation of her husband's face.

"Yes," she said anyway and Perseus smiled, his first real smile of the night. It was a lopsided thing, his imperfect mortal face unable to produce a properly proportional smile. She found herself smiling back despite herself.

"Jackson," a voice called and Amphitrite turned in agitation. It was the manager. Her temper flared dangerously at the sight. Poseidon reached out, grabbing Amphitrite's wrist, power warningly flowing from him to her, which was the only thing stopping Amphitrite from smiting the despicable man on the spot.

"Don't you have tables to wait on?" The manager said through a clearly fake smile as he nodded at Amphitrite and Poseidon.

"He does, but I asked him to sit with us for a moment," Amphitrite interrupted coldly. Poseidon's grip on her wrist tightened and she could feel Perseus' confused gaze. "You see, I was confused as to why you were threatening to fire my stepson. It appeared to me that he threw a disgusting, lecherous man out of your restaurant after you failed to do so."

The manager's face turned red under Amphitrite's bland smile.

"Well ma'am," he tried to bluster.

"See that it doesn't happen again," Amphitrite said coldly, letting some of her power seep into her words. "Return to work Perseus, we shall be here."

She paused, reaching out to grab Poseidon's glass of water. "And bring your father out a glass of water."

"Okay," Perseus said, pushing himself to his feet. "Ah, be right back then."

Throwing one more confused look at the table, he disappeared into the kitchen. The manager watched him leave, eyeing the gods warily. Amphitrite bared her teeth and all the color drained from his face. Without another word, he twisted around on his heels and hightailed it. Poseidon looked pleased, releasing her wrist and leaning back in his seat.

"Quiet," she warned, taking another drink of the commandeered water.

Poseidon's eyes twinkled. "What do you think dearest wife?"

"Does he know you're one of the lecherous men who won't leave women alone?" Amphitrite asked, avoiding the question as she raised her eyebrows at her husband.

Poseidon's face twisted ever so slightly. "I would never pursue a waitress so young."

"Not one of his waitress friends you mean," Amphitrite smirked, sipping her water. "Shall I tell him of some of your past exploits?"

"Amphitrite," he warned lowly but closed his mouth as there was a flutter of movement and Perseus was back.

Amphitrite smiled up at the boy, eyeing his tired form as he set a fresh glass of water down before her and a new one for his father. Perhaps he wasn't such a bad influence to have around. He seemed surprised at her soft face and a flicker of a smile made its way onto his own.

Poseidon immediately stole the attention, "Thank you, Percy."

"Percy," Amphitrite repeated the name slowly as Percy's eyes flickered over to his father and then back to her. "Hm. Doesn't quite hold the power and antiquity of Perseus."

"He is not the Perseus of old," Poseidon said, his voice frosty, "he is my son and far more powerful and successful that that bygone son of—"

"Percy," she repeated, ignoring Poseidon. "I like it."

"Thanks," Percy said hesitantly, brows pulled together. "I think."

"It was a compliment," Amphitrite agreed, chuckling slightly.

Percy's face softened a bit, the yellow lights of the restaurant making him look especially young.

"Well darling wife, you can see that I am not straying from my vows and that Percy holds no threat to you," Poseidon said stiffly once Percy had gone. He sat rigidly in his chair, fingers curled tightly around the glass Percy brought out. The water inside slouched of its own accord, the tightly controlled temper of the sea god faltering.

"You're upset because I'm stealing his attention," Amphitrite said, laughing at her husband's stormy expression. "What's the matter Poseidon, afraid I'm more interesting than you?"

"Amphitrite—"

"Or," she asked, her amusement growing, "are you afraid he'll end up liking me better?"

"Won't Triton be wondering where you ran off to?" Poseidon demanded, eyes flashing. The water inside his glass swirled, splashing over the edge. Poseidon's eyes twitched as he tried to compose himself. "And of course not, don't be quaint. _I'm_ Percy's father."

"You are," Amphitrite laughed, "you always were the jealous type."

She settled back in her chair, making a show of getting comfortable as she dragged Poseidon's menu towards her. She peeked up at her husband, smiling coyly, "So my darling husband, what do you suggest from the menu?"

Percy only checked in on their table periodically, her presences obviously throwing him off but he loosened up as the night wore on. Conversely, Poseidon grew stiffer as the crowd thinned, his eyes darker as they disapprovingly surveyed his smiling wife. Percy often made little, aborted movements, as though thinking about coming over to their table but changing his mind at the last second and Poseidon would glower at Amphitrite.

"It grows late," Poseidon finally said through clenched teeth.

"You're right," Amphitrite agreed, "we should go. We certainly wouldn't want to attract any prying eyes."

Poseidon's eye twitched. Amphitrite watched Percy unsteady balance an armful of dishes a couple tables over before glancing back at her husband. Poseidon wasn't glaring at her for once but instead watched Percy struggle with a distant expression on his face.

"I shall wait by the door," Amphitrite declared, elegantly standing, "be there in five minutes."

Poseidon glared at her, obviously displeased by the ultimatum. Amphitrite ignored him. She watched Percy accidently drop a cup, eyes wide in panic as he tried to catch it in time. He barely managed to rescue the wayward glassware, halfheartedly scowling up at Maria as she laughed at him. Amphitrite reached into her pocket, running her fingers over the smooth sand dollar that appeared there. Slowly, she pulled it out and delicately sat it next to her water. Poseidon's face softened, his anger slowly evaporating from his handsome face. He inclined his head respectively at her, Amphitrite dipped hers in return.

"My lord," she respectively addressed before crossing over the restaurant to wait by the entrance.

She leaned against the wall, unabashedly watching Poseidon out of the corner of her eye. He wasted three of his five minutes simply sitting there, a solitary figure in the near empty restaurant, before Percy returned and the god of the sea rose. He, like his wife moments ago, reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He pressed it into the palm of Percy's hand, his low voice inaudible to the goddess. Percy's lips turned up. Poseidon reached out to gently lay his hand on Percy's head, his face open and tender as Percy leaned into the contact, the ghost of a smile on his face haunting and wistful. Amphitrite looked away.

"You really have grown reckless," she said when she felt Poseidon's presence approaching exactly at the end of his allotted five minutes.

Poseidon said nothing.

"I like him," Amphitrite decided as Poseidon held the door open for her.

"He has that effect," Poseidon said, managing to sound both proud and displeased at the same time.

"What is his work schedule like?" Amphitrite asked innocently as they stepped into the night.

Poseidon's eyes flashed.

"Why my lord certainly you wouldn't object to my benevolent interest in my stepson," Amphitrite goaded.

"Amphitrite," Poseidon warned, his temper growing once more.

"Careful my lord," she warned him fondly. "We wouldn't want to draw Zeus' attention would we?"

Amphitrite paused, a teasing quip dying on her lips as she tilted her head to the side, catching the softly whispered prayer in her honor:

 _Thank you, my lady Amphitrite._

Amphitrite huffed out a laugh, turning to stare almost fondly at the restaurant. "Nevermind my dear, I shall discover his schedule myself. Now you will excuse me, I have a blessing to bestow."

* * *

 **A/n Once upon a time I said I would eventually write an 'Amphitrite meets Percy' fic; this was _not_ what I had in mind. It doesn't satisfy my need for Amphitrite-Percy bonding but this is what we've got right now. Marking the story as complete but there's a very real possibility a part three might one day appear. Sorry its less funny than part one but humor wasn't my goal here. Side note: I love writing the gods as they exploit their full power and authority, acting more like immortal beings than the human side we usually see. (And now Poseidon's jealous that his wife will steal his precious Percy-time, the poor guy just can't win.)**

 **Let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoyed ~ ***


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